Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Tears

Sunday I cried. I was getting dressed and had my outfit planned right down to the jewelry. I had thought the night before how I could still wear my broken necklace, which is my favorite. I was so excited because I went to Target last week and found two dresses that were originally $50 and I got them for $9 a piece and the necklace was going to give it that extra amount of ump to make me look great. Brady started freaking out and asked for help, when I went to help him I saw that he had my favorite necklace and he broke it to the point where it couldn't be saved.

Now I have to tell you, I had a small meltdown when he broke it the first time, but I took a minute to breath and realized it wasn't as bad as I made it out to be. But this time, I was so upset. I stared at myself in the mirror as I finished up my make-up and the more I thought about it, the more upset I became. You see, that was the necklace I got for Brady's blessing day. We didn't have much money so when I found it, it was exactly what I was looking for and at a great price, I was so thrilled. On the day of his blessing, I wore a red dress, brown patent leather heels and the perfectly matching brown beaded necklace. I got a million compliments on it.
Every time I wear that necklace I get asked where I bought it, and every time I wear that necklace I remember Brady's blessing day. I remember the family members who were able to be there for it. Lindsay's last minute flight to make it, Seth driving from the Bay area to be there, and Karen's early morning flight. I remember all my family and friends from childhood coming from all over the Sacramento area to be there to hear my little brother Clayton speak before he left on his 2 year mission to Madagascar. I remember that was the day my sweet niece Eva was blessed as well. I remember we sat in the overflow because the chapel was so packed with people (thanks to Clayton speaking), and Andie was putting up a terrible fight because she didn't want to sit still. I remember during Brady's blessing, feeling the sweet spirit so strong. I remember after the blessing and during Clayton's talk, Andie took Brady's bottle of breast milk I had pumped that morning and swigged it down. We sat in that overflow trying desperately to suppress our laughter as she announced how yummy brother's bottle was. When I wear that necklace I remember everything about that wonderful day as if it were yesterday.

As I stared at myself in the mirror and thought about the real reason I was upset by this broken necklace, tears began to flow freely. How could I be crying over something so silly? I admit, Brady has broken quite a few of my things in that last week and it was probably the straw that broke the camels back, but there I was, a cryer by no means, crying over a $10 necklace. I will miss that necklace, but I still have a reminder of that special day. I see that reminder first thing in the morning when I wake up and is the last person I see before going to bed at night. The little reminder is begging for itsy bitsy spider ten times a day, and wondering where his softy (blanket) went, and asks a million times an hour if I have seen his binky. That reminder kisses me so sweetly when pronouncing "love you mama". No necklace could replace my little reminder, my sweet little Brady. How I love my baby boy. He makes me laugh all day long. He loves his sister, she is his best friend. His favorite thing is to snuggle on the couch with Daddy. I am grateful for my little reminder, I LOVE YOU BRADY!